I spent my entire life thinking that there was only one way to save lives. Oh how wrong I was. I have spent twenty years wanting to pursue a career in medicine, specifically neurosurgery. Although I took a few medical related classes in high school, and even went as far as nationals for impromptu speaking in a medical competition, there was always something else preoccupying my life and heart as well. I was involved in nearly every extra-curricular activity you could possibly think of throughout my academic career, but none of these things brought me nearly as much joy as my music did. I remember learning my first song on keyboard when I was about six. An older cousin had been taking a piano class in high school, so his parents bought him a keyboard. He spent day in and day out trying to get Beethoven’s Fifth nailed, but would always miss this one note. It drove me insane! One day I found one of those little pianos with the colorful xylophones on top and I couldn’t get the tune out of my head. I began to play this song, without any foreknowledge of how to actually play the instrument. Although I am no pianist today, I came to realize that that was one of the first “aha” moments that I would spend the rest of my life working with music in some capacity. From then on I would spend years singing in choirs, directing various forms of them, being in just about every band I could get in to, playing saxophone for ten years, producing and directing different aspects of theater. How can I deny how instrumental my music has been in my life? I joke with friends, but in seriousness “you name it, I’ve done it”. There was just something about music, it gives me more adrenaline than any race I’ve ever ran competitively.
I came to college thinking that I would put away my “hobbies”, lay down my sax, give up my singing, stop working on plays, and technical things to focus on my desires to become a world renowned surgeon. I had all of these plans and thoughts of how I would spend my life. Never once did I consult God and ask Him “Is this the plan that You have for my life?”
It’s truly funny how life works. You spend your whole life doing one thing, thinking that one day you’ll grow out of it and do what your heart desires. But what is it that God desires? When I got accepted into the university I attend, I was put into a new program that would allow students to attend spring and summer (as opposed to the tradition fall, spring schedule), specialize in one of the twenty three “handpicked” pre-specialized majors (including pre-med, pre-law, pre-business, etc.), all while attending the school that I had dreamed of going to since I was in diapers. I thought to myself, this is my dreams come true, this is my plan coming to life. My dream was coming true. I turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars in scholarships, just to come to this school. I didn’t realize that this fancy program, that sounded oh so good to everyone who was in the inaugural class, would actually be the predecessor for God shifting the plans of my life into what He had planned.
The school didn’t realize when they came up with this program that having medical track students go only spring and summer terms would throw them off course to take MCATs before their graduation dates, leaving them to either have to change majors or take a year and a half off after graduation (the dreaded gap year). They didn’t know that having to triple up on college level sciences would cause the majority to nearly fail all of their classes and come close to flunking out of school. They didn’t know that the majority who got accepted into this program would end up changing their majors or transferring schools because it would be nearly impossible to stay pre-med with the schedule they had in place. So what did that mean for me? This meant having to change majors. I spent over a year fighting the fact that I wouldn’t become a doctor in the manor that I had planned for my life.
One day I got so frustrated I said “Lord! What do you want from me? I’m trying the best that I can and it’s still not good enough? It seems like this school is trying to set me up to fail, they’re screwing all of us over! God what am I supposed to do?” His reply was fairly simple: “Trust Me.”
What? With all that was going on all I was supposed to do was trust God? I guess He did say in His word to trust in Him with all my heart and He would renew my strength, but could it all be that simple? So I did what He said do, I put my trust in Him and said “Let Your will be done”. Since then I changed my major to something I spent forever fighting against changing to. But do you know that it opened up doors for me to be able to do the one thing that has brought me joy all of my life? Pursue my music. I now go to a church where I not only serve in production through lights and sound, as I did in high school, but they are further training and helping me enhance my ministry gift. So not only am I blessing God with my talents, but He is preparing me for the work that He has in store for me. I got a second job working for our school’s main arena, where I not only help stage major performances and get backstage access to some of the major events, but I am now in the process of training for an apprenticeship to do setups and runs for any of our major speaking events at our school (ie when the president of our school or anyone else needs to hold press conferences, or if they need PA set up for concerts, games, or other venues, I will be the one doing it!) Isn’t God good? To make it even better, God blessed me with a mentor who has a background career in music professionally. One day God gave me a vision to do production work professionally with my music and working major Christian concert events. He gave her an almost identical vision to run a major concert managing company and we will be working in tandem on a major upcoming project. So while I spent so much time fighting for the opportunity to save lives through medicine, I should have been relinquishing my will to God’s.
He still wants me to save lives, but I had no idea that it would be in a different way. I will be saving lives by helping to save their soul for Christ. What better way to save lives than by saving them for the purpose of glorifying God? I will be starting a Christian music production and event coordinating company that will unite hundreds, and thousands, and millions so souls together as one through the praising and worshiping of God! What more could one ask for? If someone would have told me ten years ago, heck even five, that I wouldn’t be studying medicine right now, I probably would have slapped them in the face and told them to silence themselves. Yet here I am today, happier than I’ve been in years with my decision to make a change and trust God with my life. I don’t know how far He’s going to take me with my endeavors, but I do know that with God, I cannot fail! With Him I can do all things, and I shall do all things. Whatever He asks of me, I will do. So really, I may not be bringing people back to life with medical healing, but I am preparing to do Godly healing and bringing their soul to life with my first love, music. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the rest of my life. Why He chose to bless me the way that He has I will never know, but God am I grateful! If you’re struggling with finding your identity or purpose in this world, please know that you’re not alone. Go to God and ask Him what His desires and plans are for your life, and willingly allow Him to do greater works in your life. Let Him guide and lead you to the path He has predestined you, and I promise you won’t spend another day of your life regretting the decision to pursue your happiness. Stay blessed in all that you do.
Saving lives,
ZDSD
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